Choose Gratitude
Thanksgiving Eve Service
Thank those who gave testimonies—thanks for their courage to share. Amazing to be part of this great family called The Chapel.
Briefly explain diagnosis, what I’ve done (in general terms), where I am as far as second opinions, etc. Not what I had planned for this point in my life. The approaching Thanksgiving holiday, plus tonight’s service/message have given me a great opportunity to reflect. And it’s become really clear that God is giving me some unexpected gifts through this experience. They might not seem like gifts, but they are—in fact, they’re some of the most valuable gifts I’ve ever received. So even though I could focus lots of energy on the problems I face, I’m making the choice to be grateful for these unforeseen gifts.
So let me share with you three gifts that I’m receiving, and for each one, I want to look at a place in 2 Corinthians where Paul talks about his own experience of receiving the same gifts.
So the first one is Compassion. Look with me at 2 Cor 1:3-4…
3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.
-Over the past 25 years as a pastor, I have ministered to countless people with cancer. Prayed…visited… sang…shared communion. But now I’m the one with the cancer, and it’s different. Now, when I see other struggling people I look at them differently—especially people with cancer. It’s not just a word now.
-CAT Scan—before, “Okay.” Now—“Oh man, I know—you have to drink liquid barium the night before and the morning of—it’s nasty—I’m going to be thinking of you.”
- Even just blood work—before, “Bummer.” Now—“I know, you have to fast, can’t have morning coffee, stinks.”
You know, the etymology of the word “compassion” comes from combining two words: “to feel with.” And through this, God is helping me to feel people’s pain with them, in ways I never did before. I’m thankful for that.
-Compassion not just for the sickness; it’s for the hassle; the confusion; the insurance claims; the bills. It’s compassion for the million well-meaning voices who have their opinions on how to treat, or not treat, or to embrace traditional medicine or reject traditional medicine. Remember how I said I don’t really need people’s home remedies? Yeah, that didn’t really stop people. And I know they’re all well-meaning. But it’s extremely stressful to juggle all those things, and at times it can feel overwhelming. And I feel that stress with others more than I ever have. I’m thankful for that. It’s drawing me closer to some people that I never would have been this close to—because we’re sharing cancer experiences. It’s making me a better pastor and just a better person.
Hebrews 4:15 says we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses. The high priest it’s talking about is Jesus, and Jesus is fully able to empathize with our weaknesses—why? Because he walked where we walk. He felt pain and hunger and exhaustion and disappointment and temptation. That’s why we can always go to him—he gets it. And now through this experience, I get it—at least a little more. So I can be a little more like my Savior.
-I wonder—as you look at your life—is there something going on that you view as a curse? Maybe it’s cancer; maybe it’s depression; maybe it’s unemployment. Seem like an awful thing! But what if God is allowing that to happen to make you compassionate? Because there are people around you who are suffering under the weight of cancer or depression or unemployment, and they desperately need someone to come alongside them and walk this road with them. And maybe God is getting you ready to play that crucial role in their lives. I realize viewing it that way is a challenging thing, but it’s a beautiful thing.
So this Thanksgiving I’m choosing to be grateful for the gift of compassion.
Secondly, I’m grateful for the gift of Vulnerability. In 2 Corinthians 12, Paul says he was given a thorn in his flesh. And he never tells us what that is! Could have been a sickness; could have been some kind of phobia or depression; we just don’t know. And he says, “I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me.” Just like we do, right? We don’t want these thorns in our lives. But in response to the pleading, God said to Paul, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Man, that’s a lesson I’m starting to learn.
All of us would rather feel strong and independent and in control, right? That just feels good.
But through this diagnosis, I’m feeling vulnerable. To be vulnerable means that you are susceptible to harm. You’re susceptible. You’re not bullet-proof. You’re not invincible. I don’t like that feeling.
You know when I feel vulnerable? When I’m having blood drawn, or lying on a CAT scan table, or wearing a gown that opens in the back—don’t you love those? Vulnerability. Just knowing there’s a foreign invader in my body makes me feel vulnerable.
But it’s not just the physical stuff. As a pastor, I’m so used to being the one giving the comfort and support. But now I find myself on the receiving end of cards and meals and prayers. And that’s kind of strange! I find it much easier to give those kinds of things than to receive them. Don’t you? Because when you’re bringing the meal, you’re strong and in control and generous. When you’re receiving, you’re kind of weak and needy. And the whole thing is making me more humble and more dependent on others. God said to Paul, “My power is made perfect in weakness.” And I can feel that happening.
You may have heard me share before: at the seminary where I studied, there was a very popular professor name Howard Hendricks. Amazing teacher; great sense of humor. And I’ll never forget, my first year in school, he stood in front of a large class full of students, and shared about his lifelong battle with depression. You could have heard a pin drop. And it was clear that after sharing that, the level of respect the students had for him, and his effectiveness as a teacher, was actually stronger—because his vulnerability highlighted the reality of his faith and the power of his God. When we are weak, the power of God shows up most strongly.
Is there anything in your life now that’s making you feel vulnerable? There probably is. And you’ve probably been pleading with God to take it away, just like Paul did. But stop and think: is God using that very thing to show his strength through you?
So this Thanksgiving, I’m choosing to be grateful for the gift of vulnerability.
And then third, I’m grateful for the gift of Perspective. There’s a passage that I have preached countless times, but now it has a whole new meaning. 2 Corinthians 4:16-18…
16 Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17 For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
I’ve always known that my body was wasting away outwardly, but now there’s no question about it. The evidence is all over the place. Of course I want to beat this cancer, and by God’s grace, I probably will. But the other day I was driving from a doctor appointment, and I had this thought: if this doesn’t get me, something else will! Isn’t that a happy holiday thought? But it’s true—something else will. I’m 54 years old right now, and if I beat this cancer, let’s say I live to age 80. That means I have 26 years left. That’s not a whole lot of time!
And I know some of you are thinking, “That’s depressing!” But it’s actually not! Because while all this is happening outwardly, God is doing something powerful and good on the inside of me—I like that. And God says that because of what my Savior has done for me on the cross, there’s this eternal glory that awaits me—that’s an amazing thought. And Paul says, Therefore—knowing that—we have a choice to make. We can fix our eyes on the temporary stuff—the stuff that’s wasting away. So I can put all my focus on my body and my health and just constantly pray for healing. OR, I can focus on the things that last: my relationship with God and my relationships with people.
So while I was driving, I came up with this little timetable—this is how my mind works. So let’s be generous and assume you live till 88.
1-22 Spring
22-44 Summer
44-66 Fall
66-88 Winter
So I’m right in the middle of the autumn of my life. And here’s the point: because of my cancer diagnosis, I’m more resolved to live fully in each season. To realize that every moment counts. Every conversation matters. Every relationship is precious. So I’m finding myself saying what needs to be said. Expressing my love for people. Challenging people. Taking some relational risks. Caring less what others think. Speaking the name of Jesus whenever possible. Fixing my eyes on eternity is freeing me to live a much better life in the present. And for that I am so thankful.
You know, we have this stereotypical image of the cranky old man. Always in a bad mood. Always negative. Always telling people to get off his lawn. But I’ll tell you what: I can understand how you’d get that way. Because life is hard. And at times I feel like a cranky middle-aged man! But then I realize I have a choice. I don’t have to go there. So by God’s grace, I choose gratitude.
How about you? Is there something very unwelcome in your life? Could it be that this is the very thing God is using to make you the mature, deep, loving, Christ-like person you really want to be? I hope that thought excites you and motivates you and gives you the strength to keep going.
This Thanksgiving, whatever hard things might be in your life, choose to be grateful. God will be honored, and you will be so much happier. Amen?
We want to close by worshiping together, but let’s stand a pray first…