The Light of Love
Use these materials to go deeper into this message on your own, or with your small group.
1 John Bible Study Format (Bookmark)
Series Overview & Scripture Passages
Sermon Questions
Good morning Chapel family. We’re taking this winter to walk through the book of 1 John, which is a little letter written by John the Apostle—the same guy who wrote the Gospel of John. He was one of the twelve disciples, so he had the incredible privilege of walking with Jesus, in person, for three years. So in this letter, it’s toward the end of this life, and he’s explaining how even though Jesus is no longer physically here, we can actually walk with him today just like John did back then—because he’s fully alive and very knowable.
There’s a little phrase in the first chapter that really summarizes this whole series. In John 1:7 it says, “Walk in the light, as he is in the light.” Isn’t that an awesome invitation? Jesus called himself “the Light of the world.” So obviously he’s in the light. And we’re being invited to come out of the darkness of hypocrisy and fear and shame, and join Jesus in the light. To live like him, and with him. That’s what the book of 1 John is all about.
So…one of the things that makes this world darker is when people treat each other with a lack of love. Wouldn’t you agree? Lack of love is what makes marriages go cold; it makes families grow distant from each other; it causes road rage and online insults and gossip. I would say most of the darkness we experience in this life can be traced back to a lack of love. So I wonder—when you think about your life, are there things—are there relationships—that you’ve just gotten used to being broken or dysfunctional, and you’ve given up on those things ever getting better? But if you were able to approach that situation or that person with a whole new level of love, you would be amazed at the change that would bring. Because love is that powerful.
And that’s what this next section of the letter talks about. If we are truly walking in the light with Jesus, we become capable of loving in ways that we could never do otherwise.
So let’s read the passage together—1 John chapter 3, starting in verse 16. I invite you now to hear the Word of God…
16 This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters. 17 If anyone has material possessions and sees a brother or sister in need but has no pity on them, how can the love of God be in that person? 18 Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth. And then he continues the same theme in chapter 4, verse 7:
7 Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. 8 Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. 9 This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. 10 This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. 11 Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 12 No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.
13 This is how we know that we live in him and he in us: He has given us of his Spirit. 14 And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. 15 If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in them and they in God. 16 And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.
God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them. 17 This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment: In this world we are like Jesus. 18 There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
19 We love because he first loved us. This is the Word of the Lord.
There’s a popular saying in counseling ministry. The saying is “hurt people hurt people.” Have you heard that? In other words, if someone has been hurt, they have a tendency to turn around and hurt others. Hurt people hurt people.
So I have a much more positive saying for you today. And it’s based on that last verse I just read. 1 John 4:19 says We love because he first loved us. Every time I preach a wedding message, I base it on that verse: We love because he first loved us. So instead of “hurt people hurt people,” here’s my more positive saying—you ready? Loved people love people. Would you say that with me? Loved people love people. If you are truly and deeply loved, you will be in a position to love others. If you have not been loved, or if you haven’t accepted the love that’s available to you, you will not have the inner resources to love others. You will lose patience with people quickly. You will get frustrated and angry and cranky with people frequently. Because only loved people can truly love people.
I have learned that a big part of walking in the light is learning how to be loved people who love people. If we can learn to do that, literally everything in life will get better.
So let’s talk about two things today—very simple outline—let’s talk about what it means to be Loved People—that’s the first point—who in turn Love People—that’s the second point.
So, first: What does it mean to be Loved People? When I stated that principle, you might have felt your heart sink. Because humanly speaking, maybe you haven’t been loved very well. Maybe you grew up in a dysfunctional home—maybe an alcoholic or abusive home, or an atmosphere that only gave love when you performed in certain ways. So you might be thinking, “Great. I won’t be able to love well, because I was never loved well.” If that’s what you’re thinking, first of all, I am so sorry you didn’t have a more loving family. But this is why the gospel is such radically good news: regardless of the love you did or didn’t receive from people, the love that you most need is right there for you to receive. There is this God who is personally pursuing you with his love.
The word for “love” that’s used throughout this passage is the Greek word agape. The Greeks actually had four different words for “love,” and agape is the highest form of love. It’s the one that describes God’s love, and also human love when we love like God does. So I just learned that in Italian (and I know I’m going to get corrected by some angry Italian after the service, but I think this is right). In Italian, there are two different ways to say, “I love you.” You can say ti amo, and that’s more romantic. But the other way to say it is ti voglio bene, which literally means, “I want what’s good for you.” I really like that. Because it’s really close to the meaning of agape. It’s when you are committed to the good of another person. Not based on feelings; not about personal gain—like I love you for what I can get out of you. It’s a love that is completely committed to the well-being of the other person. It’s sometimes called “unconditional love,” because it’s not limited by any conditions—like, “I’ll keep loving you as long as you behave yourself.” No. I want what’s good for you, period. Good on the Italians. Ti voglio bene.
So here’s the point: the God of the universe, who created your life, actually knows your name; he knows where you live; you knows the worst things you’ve ever done; he knows all the ways people
have failed to love you; and he loves you with a personal, relentless, agape love. Whether you’ve received it or not, he loves you like that.
Look at 1 John 3:16… This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. So if you want the perfect example of agape love, look at Jesus on the cross, bleeding…being mocked …slowly dying. Even though he had the power to call legions of angels to come and rescue him, he chose to stay there…why? Because he passionately wanted what was good for us. John says, “This is how we know what love is.” We wouldn’t fully know what love is, if not for the cross. And then look at chapter four verse 10: This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. In other words, the starting point for love isn’t how well we think we love God; the starting point is God’s love for us; specifically the agape he showed when he sent his son to the cross.
So love is defined by the cross. If you want to know what time it truly is—not just approximate, but the exact time, don’t look at your iPhone. You have to look at an atomic clock. They’re the most accurate clocks in the world. And by the way, you can find them at time.gov—did you know that? That’s the standard for time. And if you want to truly know what love is, look at Jesus on the cross. That’s the standard. Which means anything else that claims to be love is only truly love inasmuch as it reflects the cross. That’s agape. Ti voglio bene. God acting for our greatest good.
So that’s the kind of love that God has for you. He doesn’t force it on you, but he pursues you with it. And he uses the events of your life and the pain of your life and the disappointment you often feel with human love to get your attention and call you to this higher love. And if you’ve never received that love of God, today could be the day. At the end of this service, you’ll have an opportunity to open your heart to his love through prayer. That’s the starting point to becoming a loved person, so you can truly love. Because loved people love people.
And then, if you really want to be a person who loves powerfully, you have to continually remind yourself of God’s love for you—otherwise you’ll forget. You will drift back into thinking that God only loves you when you behave yourself. So how do you do that? How do you personalize the love of God?
Well, you read the Bible. You read passages about God’s love like we did last week from 1 John 3:1: See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! Start your day meditating on that, instead of your social media feed.
You remind yourself through worship. You sing worship songs that declare the truth of God’s love. Amazing love, how can it be, that thou my God should die for me? Or s more modern one: I am chosen not forsaken; I am who You say I am; You are for me not against me; I am who You say I am. Fill your house and your car with the sounds of that truth.
And you remind yourself through others. Allow other people who know God’s love to confirm what’s true. Last week, one of our staff members, Julie, sent this quote to the staff—it’s from Tim Tebow: “I'm so thankful because of my relationship with Jesus Christ and being adopted in the family of God that I don't have to live the highs and the lows and the roller coaster that the rest of the world lives, because I know where my identity lies. My identity lies as a child of God, and that's something that will never be shaken.” That’s what it means to be loved. And I need that reminder, because there’s something in me that wants to believe that my value is determined by how good this sermon is. I’m only as good as my latest performance. Thank God that’s a lie. Even when I stink up here, God loves me like crazy. And I appreciate Tim Tebow reminding me. Because he stunk at baseball, and God still loves him.
So, you live into your identity of being loved through worship, and the Word, and the wisdom of others. Let me mention one more way to own that identity. Look at 1 John 4:13… This is how we know that we live in him and he in us: He has given us of his Spirit. As a believer in Christ, you have the Holy Spirit living in you. And one of the roles of the Spirit is to remind your heart how much God loves you. And the New Testament repeats that over and over. Romans 5:5… God’s love has been poured out into our hearts (how?) through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us. Romans 8:16-- The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. Think about those times when you get discouraged, and you start to doubt God’s love. And picture God’s Spirit in you putting his arm around your Spirit, saying, “Don’t you ever forget how much God loves you.”
Thomas Goodwin was a Puritan Pastor back in the 1600s. And in his teaching on the Holy Spirit, he said imagine a man walking down the road hand-in-hand with his little child. The child knows that’s his father; he knows his father loves him; and he’s happy in that. But all of a sudden the father picks up the child, kisses him, and tells him how much he loves him. Then he puts him down, and they continue on their way. And here’s what Thomas Goodwin said, in his 17th century English: “The child knew before that his father loved him, and he knew that he was his child. But oh! The loving embrace, this extra outpouring of love, this unusual manifestation of it—that is the kind of thing. The Spirit bearing witness with our spirit that we are the children of God.” Isn’t that beautiful? It’s one thing to know God loves you; it’s another thing to know it, and feel it. And the Spirit of God in you will use your Bible reading, and your worship singing, and the wisdom of others, to pick you up and whisper in your ear, “You are loved by God more than you will ever know!”
So…that’s what it means for us to be loved people. And only then can we truly love people. Because loved people love people.
So, second point: what does it look like to Love People? Look again at 1 John 3:16…16 This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters. 17 If anyone has material possessions and sees a brother or sister in need but has no pity on them, how can the love of God be in that person? 18 Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth. By the way, same word for love here: agape. So you know what these verses tell me? The kind of love God empowers us to give is active and it’s sacrificial. It’s active, because it’s more than just words, right? Let us not love with words or speech. And it’s sacrificial, because it follows the example of Christ, who laid down his life for us. So John gives a practical scenario of seeing someone in need of something, and you have plenty of that something, and you do nothing about it—and John says, “It’s obvious the love of God isn’t in you.” It’s that simple. And nobody’s perfect, of course; but if there’s a pattern in your life where you see those kinds of needs and you respond with active, sacrificial love, that’s evidence that you truly know God.
Last Saturday was the first homeless outreach in Paterson that I was not personally able to attend. And I was a little concerned, because I usually lead those groups. So I asked a few Chapel volunteers to lead the team. And later that day I reached out to Pastor Charles who hosts those outreaches. I said, “How did it go?” And here was his text back to me:
“We had an amazing day of outreach around 20 people from The Chapel showed up to help today. We fed 150 people and gave away coats, blankets, toiletries, and sleeping bags (by the way, that was the stuff you guys donated at our Christmas Eve services!). Two people went into rehab and possibly a couple too. You are raising some great servant leaders with the heart of God at The Chapel.” Guys, I cannot tell you what that did to my heart. That is love. It’s seeing someone in need, and because you’ve been loved by God, taking that love and giving it away in active, sacrificial ways. That’s love!
Last November, on one Saturday, 350 Chapel volunteers spread out to about ten locations in Paterson and beyond, cleaning things and building things and painting things and working shoulder to shoulder with our ministry partners. That’s love.
Last week we had a team of 12 people come back from Fort Meyers, Florida. They spent a week crawling under trailers in a trailer park, ripping out wet, moldy insulation and helping people begin to rebuild their lives. It’s about the most un-glamorous work you can do, and they represented Jesus so well. And by the way, they had a great time together. That’s love.
This Friday, we will be hosting over 100 people with different kinds of special needs, and their parents, at the Night to Shine. Can you imagine, this room will be a banquet hall and a dance floor? And there will be over 300 Chapel volunteers actively, sacrificially serving some really precious people. That’s love.
At the Chapel Annual Meeting, this afternoon, we are going to be unveiling something brand new that the Chapel family is going to be entering into later this year. This is one of the most ambitious things this church has ever done, and I am so excited about it. You’re going to get so fired up when you hear about this. And to find out what it is, you have to come to the Annual Meeting today at 4:00. Sorry, I just can’t tell you now. But it’s going to be a beautiful way of demonstrating love.
And thankfully, I could keep going with examples, but I’ll stop there. See, loved people love people. When we realize how deeply we’re loved by God, we cannot help but give it away. And it’s just the best way to live. It’s fun.
I mentioned earlier that at every wedding I officiate, I base the sermon on 1 John 4:19—“We love because he first loved us.” Because I believe that marriage is hard, frankly. I love my marriage, and my wife is amazing, but we are two people with egos and selfishness and insecurities—we’re human. So marriage is hard. And the only way we’re going to have the kind of love we need for the long haul is to learn how to constantly be re-filled with love from God.
A friend of mine is married, and his wife had surgery a couple of weeks ago. So she’s home recovering. And he said the first few days, his question to her was, “What do you need.” But he said after about a week, his question was, “What do you want now?” It’s hard to keep loving someone—actively, sacrificially—over the long haul. So we need to keep leaning into God’s love for us, and then leaning out to give it to others. Otherwise we’re just going to run out.
These past couple of years, I have not been the easiest husband to love. I’ve been distracted by my doctoral work; I’ve had some health issues; and then just my normal selfishness. And I have to say, Norma Jean has consistently loved me through it. Last week I came home late from a meeting, and I was just spent. And I walked in the door, and she had waited up for me—which was definitely a sacrifice. And we just sat on the couch and had some food and talked for about an hour. It was exactly what I needed. And the next morning I was so struck by her love for me. She was still sleeping so I texted her. And I just said, “You are so great to come home to.” And I meant it. She shows me agape love. Ti voglio bene. She want’s what’s good for me. And she’s able to do that because she’s loved so deeply by God, and she knows it.
Loved people love people.
You know what happens when we walk in that kind of love? Look at 1 John 4:12: No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us. Isn’t that a great thought? If we live this way, God’s love is made complete in us. I think this is what it means: God’s love is intended to flow, first, from God to us. Right? We receive his love; we realize how loved
we are. But it’s not complete yet! It’s only complete when it flows from us to others. Does that make sense? It’s like that completes the circuit—it accomplishes the ultimate goal. God’s love was never meant to be hoarded by us; it’s only complete when it’s given away.
But there’s another angle to that verse. Did you know that in John’s Gospel, he wrote something very similar to this? Look with me at John 1:18. No one has ever seen God, but the one and only Son, who is himself God and is in closest relationship with the Father, has made him known. Do you see what he’s saying? No one has actually seen God, because God is invisible. But when people looked at Jesus, they were actually seeing what God is like. Jesus made the invisible God visible.
And then here in 1 John, he says, No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us. Do you see the parallel? When Jesus walked the earth, people saw God by looking at Jesus; now, people see God (not as perfectly, but they still see God) by looking at… us! Wow! But only when we love. What an incredible privilege.
Back in 2005, when hurricane Katrina destroyed New Orleans, there was an article written in The Guardian newspaper by a guy named Roy Hattersley. He’s an atheist. But he couldn’t deny that when you looked at the thousands of volunteers pouring into New Orleans after the hurricane, it seemed like all of them were Christians. This is what he wrote: “Notable by their absence are teams from rationalist societies, free thinkers' clubs and atheists' associations - the sort of people who not only scoff at religion's intellectual absurdity but also regard it as a positive force for evil.” He went on to say that as much as he hated to admit it, Christians are “the people most likely to take the risks and make the sacrifices involved in helping others.” I appreciate his honesty. And that’s a great example of what John is talking about: when we love well, it makes the invisible God visible to world that desperately needs to see God.
And then here’s the last thing: when we live that way, something happens in our own hearts. Look at 1 John 4:17… 17 This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment: In this world we are like Jesus. 18 There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. When you walk in the love of God—receiving it and giving it away; receiving it and giving it away—it changes the way you think of that day when you will stand before God at the final judgment. Because that day is coming for all of us—the Bible is really clear about that. And when you’ve been walking in the love of God, you face that day with no fear. Because the Jesus you will stand before is the Jesus you’ve been walking with all along. You know him; you know how much he loves you; and you can’t wait to see him.
So if the idea of death and judgment scares you, it doesn’t have to. Because perfect love drives out fear. So turn to Christ…walk in his love…and whenever he calls you home, you will joyfully run into his arms.
